Tuesday, December 12, 2006

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TONE OF THE LETTER I WROTE A FEW HOURS AGO . I HAD THIRTY PEOPLE CALL ME WITHIN AN HOUR ASKING ME ABOUT THIS POST. MY FRIEND PETE THREW AWAY SOME SUITCASES OF MINE. SOMEONE WHO KNEW THEY WERE MINE, WENT THOUGH THEM , FOUND THE DISC, POSTED IT ONLINE... I FREAKED OUT (not thinking it was my suitcases discarded by a friend , which I DO KNOW is ultimately my own fault, but rather ASSUMED (wrongfully) it was from one of many boxes discarded by the firemarshall after a housefire) AND WROTE THIS POST. Since then , the story was told to me, by the person i was NOT VERY ARTICULATELY appealing to ... his name is mike. he apologized... He didnt see what that would trigger in me... what affects it would have on me , my friends , and my ever dwindling sanity. i re-read the post , felt like i wrote it out of anger and confusion. i apologized to mike for my tone .... then read about how awful i am on a few websites by people like doing that sort of thing. by flipping out i connected with something i had lost... i am not taking down the post because i want to be reminded how much of an ass i can be, and if i forget , i am comforted by the fact that the blogs... the web... will always be there to remind me. i really do need to get "offline". in a real way. goodbye online. goodbye blog. thanks mike.

Monday, December 11, 2006

to whomever found/stole/"unearthed" the demos that karen gave me and posted them on the internet/indierock fireman ....

thank you. i am due to learn a new kind of forgiveness. a kind that all of of humanity will need to learn as we betray eachother , hurt eachother, steal from eachother to fill the "content void" that has become the worldwide networks, our worldwide lives . i am not shocked that you are in possession of something you obtained through dubious means..... nor am i shocked that you posted it on the internet and by its very naming acknowledged whom it belonged to ... and did not return it to that person. you would surely not return the 'found wallet" , let the person in front of you know they dropped their passport, nor would you correct the mistake that benefited you at the craftfair/bakesale... because you too are in line to learn this very same lesson... and you surely WILL be betrayed... someone you know will turn you in for this , or someone you dont know will dig through your trash, will obtain your mothers medical records , etc... and you will feel empty... sick to your stomach, as though there is no humanity left ... you will CERTAINLY, WITHOUT QUESTION, get out of life what you put into it... what i AM confused about is this :

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU ?

as far as i can see , you havent turned a profit , and i (the person you did NOT return something dear to ) feel the same as i always have about you. you are a tired and confused animal who has no grasp on consequences ( i coincidentally feel that way about ALL of our species since we have outlived our usefullness (1970) ) You gained NOTHING ... unless you and those around you who "over look " these thoughtless acts get a betray-o-rection for swiping at someones belongings and making them public .... but even still.... that boner will go down... your "hard cock idea" will go soft whe you realise that you never got any credit.... never got any money .... never got to highfive someone pretty in the sun for this ... it will probably be RIGHT around the time you are getting what you deserved for this . all you got was what you just gave me as i read about it. a heartsickening murmur and an INSISTANCE that we are dumb animals with no purpose and too much free time. we will continue to go to wars , we will die of disease , we will kill our children , we will shame our parents , we will steal from our family, we will poison the land that gives us life , we will deny the existence of the godly, and we will become extinct ... this will not help you in the least in your quest to become immortal... if you were brave ( and shortly, i wont hold my breath for this NOWAY ) my door is open to return what ever else you found rummaging through my things without question, and i WILL forgive you..... and if you choose not to , you MUST seek the same forgiveness from yourself... for chipping away at someones security. this is and will always be a matter of the heart to me. you win . now please put the brakes on this before you hurt someone you DO care about.


editors note :

i am quite amazed . why didnt the major labels think of it first? i thought for sure at least itunes would have lept at the opportunity to sift through my belongings after the house fire and "unearth " all my private collection of music and demos. theres bound to be some hot jams in my melted laptop in a jersey landfill.... that is what is SO funny about this .... EVEN A BIG GREEDY CORPORATION WOULDNT EVEN DREAM OF DOING THIS !
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