Tuesday, March 30, 2004

i wasnt going to address it , but there is no way of avoiding it ... you probably want me to make a big fuss about how my privacy was invaded [forgetting that i was , in a past life, a fish in a bowl etc...] or how it wasnt me that was counting gold in a hovercraft or how my goldless childhood drove me to commit workery which led me to a life [sad one ] of counting gold , and that i bought a hovercraft because i wanted 'the canadian" to stare at it with hot eyes.....but i am not going to say any of that... all i am going to say about the photograph is this.... if you look closely at the crushed flowers at the bottom-left of the photo, you wil notice that the flowers were crushed by tires.... thats right... TIRES.
what is my point? yes ... i have a hovercraft , and occasionally ... i count gold in it , but i do NOT crush flowers ! and i think if soandso was using there cellphone-as-a-camera just two hot moments before i was "shot" , they would have captured what i saw before parking there... i saw a man reinvent the wheel right there at the garden's edge. you probably are saying to yourself "wait a minute .... the wheel CANT be re-invented" and i say [in addition to 'those are old crappy tapes that guidance counselors installed in your brain and you [for some wierd reason ] continue to play over and over] "yes the wheel CAN and WAS reinvented right before my very eyes [which are not cellphones so i could take no pictures to prove.. but i am honest/badass etc...] i saw it with my own two! it was just like the wheel we all know and love , but there was something more menacing about this wheel.... as if the original wheel 'willed' itself to be re-invented... only as a stonger , more decisive wheel.... so the re-inventor was putting the last touches on his new wheel ... when , in his carelessness, he turned to grab his lemonade... the wheel rolled away from him and over the garden [crushing the flowers] leaving a hauntingly flat track across the rows of daffodills... it was really sad... all those daffodills in their growing glory... flattened by a force only ambition could muster. i felt a lump in my throat , my eyes started to tear... i thought about the re-inventors optimism minutes before the 'roll out!" and how hard it would be to repair his confidence in himself after such a complete failure... i got so sad so quickly that i HAD to count my gold... it was the only thing that could sweep my mind away from all this gloom, this frenchfry air... once i climbed into my hovercraft and pulled out the bag of gold from under the seat and began counting .... one , two, three, shiny, alluring, six, seven, royal, sexy, ten, gleeming, forever,etc...

Friday, March 26, 2004


seriously, i just ran my life through an echo pedal.... i will be back soon.

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