so kyp and i were walking through london in the middle of the night and before we could pretend that we were werewolves/teenagers, we were stuck in a conversation about free cigarettes with a guy whose mustache was a curtain and when it opened we saw the doors of his teeth and we knew that behind those doors was a bad place... the kind of place that hearts run away from.... so we used our super powers [ i pulled at my hair and kyp stared at his feet ].. but that didnt work so i reached in my pocket and pulled out a coked up gorilla and instructed him to tear off the arms of the shadowy mustache man but the gorilla was so high that all he could do was pitch us a film right there in the street so the mustache man had just enough time to find an iron pan in the middle of the night with no kitchen around and he whacked the gorilla in the head with the pan.... kyp said "that wasn't cool" and the mustache man laughed and started pulling at the gorillas head and yelling "i hate stupid movies" the whole time.... i was jumping around the street like david lee roth to distract the moustache man but he kept on pulling at the gorillas head .... then suddenly .... the gorillas head popped right off.... revealing a cobra head underneath.... and the cobra was even more angry than the gorilla ... and the cobra didnt even need the coke to be so mad [due to his already perpetual state of serpentine confidence] and once the gorilla head was fully removed , and the cobra could see clearly... the cobra started biting the mustache man and the mustache man was crying like a little baby..."NO ! NO! COBRA! PLEASE ! COBRA! ..... " i was still jumping around [partly because i was nervous and partly because it was fun ] kyp tried to reason with the cobra..... " look ... all this is really our fault... we wouldnt have asked gorilla to make such a huge sacrifice if we knew in advance that A. moustache man was a crybaby who hits gorillas with pans for a cigarette , and B. that you [cobra] would have to get involved .... we just thought it would be funny if the gorilla took moustache man's arms off ... you know".... cobra
turned to kyp and said "you have cigarettes?" kyp reached in his pocket and handed cobra a cigarette ... and then lit it for him..... meanwhile the moustache man was lying there dying from all the cobra bites and managed to mumble something to us.... "i know you thought i was creepy and passive agressive , but i want you to know... i didnt want a cigarette .... it was a passing craving.... i was drinking .... and.... " that was it.... he died ... cobra turned to kyp and said "what should we do... " kyp said " first things first.... david... stop jumping... this is no time to jump.... we gotta figure this out... "
cobra said " let's bury the body under stonehenge... " i immediately retorted ...
"fuck that ! those rocks are heavy " ... kyp got quiet for a second .... reached in his pocket and pulled out a small glowing heart .... " if we smash this up into powder and sprinkle it on the body , it will dissappear and all of our deeds will be made right ..." cobra: 2why the F*#K didnt you say you had a glowing heart! you could have saved us ALL alot of trouble! moustache man is ALLERGIC to glowing hearts ! ... if he saw it in the first place, he would have just ran away instead of indirectly hinting for 40 minutes about how you should give him a cigarrette because participating actively in you own demise is so much easier for the privelaged.... he would have ran right home to his moustache mum! " kyp [realizing the err of our ways ] said " i knew i had something in my pockets earlier , but i honestly thought it was a tin of chocolates...." cobra " well you should have checked" .... kyp crushed up the heart and sprinkled it on the moustache man and he dissappeared .... the he sprinkled it on the gorilla head , and it dissappeared too... then he turned to the cobra with the gorilla body and sneezed and the powder blew all over gorilla/cobra and he dissappeared... i looked at kyp and said "lets sprikle it on ourselves and see what happens " ... kyp laughed and said " how do you think we got to london.... ?"