Saturday, December 27, 2003

spilling ions in the ether

dear builder/architect of creation,

let me start by saying that i am completely moved by your unabashed use of irregular form....
the crooked sunsets, the stunted trees, human systems of belief... i feel like i am "IN " on your private
joke..... which leads me to the point of this letter.... i have recently been troubled by the insurgency of
"practical" matters that require stupid logic and general list-making to deal with. it seems as though these matters are conjuring up very boring and uncreative personalities into our sphere of influence/coffee breaks. this may seem like a selfish request, but i am going to ask anyway [knowing that my heart is pure and my intentions are good.] could you summon up some kind of new fruit to dangle from low branches, above our heads, and then rot on the vine only to ferment , break apart, and then drip magical juices into our cups thus getting us "high " enough to accept the miraculous? [ i am not sure if that question was clear, but since you are all knowing etc...] and so.... i hope you could find it in your huge heart to have mercy on us and "fuck us up" with such magical fruits. i t would mean alot to those "children in the future"
.... thank you for you have done so far [oh and extraspecial thanks for the pony]. i promise the next time i write you i wont ask for anything. best of luck, and say hello to my ancestors.
sincerely,
tenderpants

Thursday, December 25, 2003

oh yeah ... send new years resolution suggestions to
thunderstatement@yahoo.com
yeah ... i know...
forget forgotten forgot

M: "i am pretty certain i feel @#$% about *@$#%"

H: " thats great ... because i heard that *@$#% was #(*#&^ a #*& ! "

M: " WOW... it's amazing what you learn about people by how they handle stress ."
use the horse, luke.

"no need pulling all that weight by yourself..... in fact, if it was me , why i'd just leave that pile right
where it is... get some ker-oh-sene and burn it all to ash, better believe it... "

" but it is not just 'the past records of injustices to myself '... its also memories ... like the ones that
noses bring.... it's my identity..."

"that sounds pretty L-A-M-E to me.... you and i both know you are nobody.... you aren't even what
you eat.... you are merely another expression of 'insatiable hunger' and the would be NO CRIME
in dropping THAT identity from the list.... so again, fool .... 'who are you?' ".

" i do not know , your majesty"


Monday, December 15, 2003

nevermind the bullies.....
im not going to enter "those" sweepstakes, i'm not going to worry about my hard-drive being spied on, im not going to "impress her with my size", i'm going to give back that seven dollars,
i will admit my obsession with "oompah", i will stop playing favorites among my cat friends, i will stop spitting on people i'd rather smile at, i will destroy my inner-republican-senator, i won't change my pin# every 3 months, i will admit to looking up naughty words like "bondage" and
"mommy" on friendster, i will "let go" of the "navy yard" incedent, i will stop pretending i have heard bands that i have not out of fear that i will have to listen to them, etc...

Sunday, December 14, 2003

ok.... the dream...
i was outside of a tent in army pants and a white t-shirt ,marching in place.....the tent was in a field and there were all these small fires and burnt earth spots on the ground that were giving off smoke.... as i marched in place the fires turned into angry kids with rifles dressed like me ... they started marching in time with me and when there were hundreds of us we started marching over many hills until we reached a parkinglot.... we marched across the parkinglot to a white building.....i was still marching at the same pace , but the kids seemed to be marching faster and stomping their feet much louder .... they soon were ahead of me in this long hallway
and charged the door .... i started running with them at that point.... when i got through the door... everything was in slowmotion.... we were in a board room with all these old guys dressed like generals , but with makeshift patches and mismatched clothes... the kids at the front had charged the old men and shot them and cut them and by the time i got to see them, the room was a bloodbath.... blood everywhere .... all over the walls... everywhere.... the kids were all laughing and ripping the bodies to pieces... throwing bloody meat everywhere.... i
started kicking the wall... i wanted to let the sun in.... the kids were getting drunk off the blood... i mean really drunk... a couple of the kids started smoking cigarette butts out of the ashtrays.... i started feeling guilty.."i shouldn't have started marching in the first place" i told myself... i prayed that something beautiful would happen.... the kids with the cigarettes started burning the papers that were spread across the table.... now the room was filling with smoke.... fast... i kept kicking the wall , but ever after a hundred kicks... i only managed to get a "dime's worth" of sunlight into the room.... "this will take hours" i thought... just then, the spriklers went off from the burning papers.... "this is it ! now something beautiful is going to happen... just like i prayed for.... i prayed for it , and now it is going to happen..... " the floors were flooded with a pink lake..... i tried to kick more light into the room... just then one of the kids asked me if i wanted orange juice .... "yeah , that would be great " he laughed at me and said " where the f#*k am i supposed to get that in THIS place?" ... i didn't laugh , but i privately thought it was funny.... i was still thinking about the prayer and the beauty.... back to the kicking .... i was kicking so hard that my big toe was starting to meet the wall directly... my boots were very soggy..... i saw cracks start to form aroung the hole ... i got really excited... BANG..... one of the kids hit me in the head with a large legal book... i fell to the floor... my eyes were level with the hole of light.... i had kicked the shape of an angel and she was glowing in the pink water.....
...and yet they still haven't captured george w.



sooo.... participants:

a list of 10 possible new years resolutions... nothing boring like "quitting smoking "
or "start running" .... think under the box.

Friday, December 12, 2003

interested participants hit us up at tvotr@yahoo.com
BACK IN THE DAY WHEN I WAS A MOONRAKER....
french fry air... glad to be home
FREE hit counter and Internet traffic statistics from freestats.com